Dear Self-Conscious Bride

Happy Thursday all of your lovely blog readers! I hope you all are having an awesome week…I am. 🙂 I wanted to do a quick blog post about something that has been really heavy on my heart this wedding season.

This time of year gets me fired up and excited. I LOVE shooting weddings and working with couples who are in love. I LOVE helping brides and grooms feel beautiful and loved and happy and proud of all the work they put into their wedding day. This time of year also lends itself to seeing women at their bests. They are robed in the most beautiful dresses with perfect hair and make up and should feel like their are floating on air from all of the attention and love surrounding them. But thats not always the case. Sometimes our crazy, stupid, overly critical inner voice just wont let us enjoy those big moments without quietly reminding us that we are too fat or too skinny…too short or too tall…to rich or too poor. And its these kinds of thoughts that make us self-conscious and stop us from seeing how REALLY beautiful we are. I’re written a little letter to any and every bride (sorry fellas…there will be more posts for you soon..but this one is just for the brides) out there who cant seem to get past those little voices…who are DEAD WRONG. I hope it helps…know you are loved and lovely and exactly how you are supposed to be. Period. Here goes nothing….

Dear Self-Conscious Bride,

   Let me first start off by saying that you are lovely and your wedding day will be one of the happiest days of your life. I say ‘one of’ because while it will be AMAZING, I promise you that there will be days in your marriage that will be even better than the one you are about to experience. That’s the magic of the adventure you and your fiancĂ© are about to take…the fun, excitement, joy, pandemonium, and epic craziness of life…it’s just beginning. And it’s going to be awesome. I promise.

I want to take a second to fill you in on a few things pertaining to how you view yourself on your wedding day. I know that we, as women, all struggle with our body image sometime. We are too fat. Or too skinny. Or to tall, short, freckly, pale; the bottom line is that we are just TOO hard on ourselves. In an industry taken over by bridal magazine, blogs, and websites like Pinterest, it’s easy to get swept away in the idea of being this “perfect” bride that fits into a mold that is hardly attainable without having the metabolism of a racehorse and the genetic makeup of a supermodel . The idea of “perfect” starts to all look the same and I’ll be honest, that’s boring. Your curves…your uncontrollably curly hair…your fair skin…all transform on your wedding day to create the perfect bride for YOUR groom. I promise you that no matter how you feel on your wedding day, when your fiancĂ© sees you walk down that aisle towards him, YOU are the epitome of everything lovely and beautiful in this world to him. YOU are his standard for perfection. YOU are what he’s been waiting for his whole life. It’s YOU that will take his breath away.

 It’s not just your husband-to-be that will be in awe of you. Your family and friends will look at you on your wedding day and will literally glow from happiness for you and your groom. They will tell you all day how stunning you are and the best part is…they really mean it. Your family remembers when you were a silly little toddler who would walk around in toy high heels and sing at the top of her lungs. They remember you climbing trees and riding bikes faster than all the boys in your neighborhood. They remember your very first crush in elementary school. They remember how sad you were when that first heartbreak happened because that dumb boy in high school didn’t like you back. They remember how happy and confident and radiant you were the first time you told them, “I think he is the one!”

See, your wedding day isn’t just for you…it’s a celebration for everyone who has watched you grow and loves you more than themselves. Remember them when you look in the mirror, and enjoy the day that was created to signify the start a beautiful life with the man who stole your heart and loves you enough to choose you forever. The least you can do for them is to understand you deserve it and feel wonderful about yourself.  

One last thing (that I know you already know). This day is not just about you. Give you fiancĂ© some credit; he picked an AWESOME partner. You two go together like peanut butter and jelly. You finish each other’s sentences. He knows your favorite brand of makeup. You know how he folds his T-shirts. He knows exactly how much half and half you like in your morning coffee. You know how to make his mom’s mac and cheese recipe to perfection. And you guys know that no matter what this life brings you, you have each other…and that’s huge. You two get to share the spotlight on your wedding day and trust me, the last thing he is thinking about is whether or not those 5 extra pounds he gained from wedding shower food are showing underneath his tux. That man is excited! He is just as giddy as you are and this day will be the best you two have had so far, with many more awesome days to come. So, for what it’s worth, know that those things that make you crazy about yourself…those little insecurities that you (and sometimes ONLY you) notice, he’s not even paying attention to.

Trust in YOUR total beauty. You might think you have a single best feature (with an eye looking to hide the rest), but your fiancĂ© and family and friends see ALL of you – your eyes, your slightly crooked smile, that small scar from when you crashed your bike in sixth grade, the way you nervously talk in circles when ordering a meal or how you blush fire engine red the moment a compliment hits your ears. Own every part of you. It makes for great pictures… it makes for great moments… and it makes for a great life. 

 Sincerely,

 A former self-conscious bride with a little hindsight into how awesome it can be when you let it go

  1. brideself

    November 1st, 2013 at 6:56 am

    Inspiring. We should go a week with nothing but good stories like this on the news and see how much it will change peoples perspective on life.